I know. It's been a week since my last post. I'm sorry. The truth is, it's a lot harder than I thought it would be to come up with new things to write about every day or two. Sometimes it's easy because I'm out in the world, observing all the stupid things that happen every day. But, some weeks I tend to be home more and I don't see as much. However, as it's been a full week now, I've stored up a few different things that I can mention:
1) The Biggest Loser. If you don't watch the show, then just skip to #2. If you do watch the show, then I hope you can agree with me that Vicky is the biggest bitch to be on television since Omarosa was on The Apprentice. As inspiring as the show can be, is it wrong that I hope she actually gains weight? As a general rule, I try not to wish for bad things to happen, but just look at her:
She is Satan incarnate! Every time she speaks, I want to turn the television off. Every time she gives one of those shit-eating grins, I want to slap her in the mouth. It can't possibly be a coincidence that she was on the brown team. What a complete piece of shit. I'm just saying.
2) So I'm at the gym yesterday and I see a guy walk over to one of the weight machines; with a full mountain climber backpack on. This was intriguing, so I keep an eye on him for a couple minutes. He takes the backpack off, fills it up with as many weight plates as possible, and then starts to lift weights for a few minutes. Then, with the backpack on, he goes and runs on a treadmill. SERIOUSLY?? People like this completely piss me off. These are the people that have so many high school credits that they start college as a junior. These are the people that have multiple post-graduate degrees and also write a book in their spare time. These are the people that make me feel guilty even though I'm actually at the gym. Jackass.
3) We had our groceries delivered last night from Peapod. I forgot to order oatmeal. Now I have a ridiculous decision to make. Do I place another Peapod order and only buy oatmeal? That seems crazy because I would be paying a $7 delivery fee for only one item. My otherwise cheap oatmeal would then cost more than a 4-egg omelet. Or, do I go to the grocery store to buy oatmeal? Well that seems crazy because if I was going to go the grocery store, we shouldn't have ordered from Peapod in the first place. I wonder what Jesus would do.
4) My daughter has a new trick. She wakes up at 5am and cries for the full hour until we have to get up. It's awesome. If she can learn to wake up at the exact same time everyday with Swiss-like precision, why can't she learn to wake up when we do? She's on my list.
** Note to my daughter: I still love you :)
1) The Biggest Loser. If you don't watch the show, then just skip to #2. If you do watch the show, then I hope you can agree with me that Vicky is the biggest bitch to be on television since Omarosa was on The Apprentice. As inspiring as the show can be, is it wrong that I hope she actually gains weight? As a general rule, I try not to wish for bad things to happen, but just look at her:
She is Satan incarnate! Every time she speaks, I want to turn the television off. Every time she gives one of those shit-eating grins, I want to slap her in the mouth. It can't possibly be a coincidence that she was on the brown team. What a complete piece of shit. I'm just saying.2) So I'm at the gym yesterday and I see a guy walk over to one of the weight machines; with a full mountain climber backpack on. This was intriguing, so I keep an eye on him for a couple minutes. He takes the backpack off, fills it up with as many weight plates as possible, and then starts to lift weights for a few minutes. Then, with the backpack on, he goes and runs on a treadmill. SERIOUSLY?? People like this completely piss me off. These are the people that have so many high school credits that they start college as a junior. These are the people that have multiple post-graduate degrees and also write a book in their spare time. These are the people that make me feel guilty even though I'm actually at the gym. Jackass.
3) We had our groceries delivered last night from Peapod. I forgot to order oatmeal. Now I have a ridiculous decision to make. Do I place another Peapod order and only buy oatmeal? That seems crazy because I would be paying a $7 delivery fee for only one item. My otherwise cheap oatmeal would then cost more than a 4-egg omelet. Or, do I go to the grocery store to buy oatmeal? Well that seems crazy because if I was going to go the grocery store, we shouldn't have ordered from Peapod in the first place. I wonder what Jesus would do.
4) My daughter has a new trick. She wakes up at 5am and cries for the full hour until we have to get up. It's awesome. If she can learn to wake up at the exact same time everyday with Swiss-like precision, why can't she learn to wake up when we do? She's on my list.
** Note to my daughter: I still love you :)
1 comment:
I looked up "complete douche" in the dictionary and saw a picture of your buddy at the gym. What a jerkoff...
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