Homecoming

Last night I went out for dinner at Biaggi's. Lucky for us, it was also the night that every high school kid that managed to get themselves a date to Homecoming... wound up at Biaggi's for dinner. Based on what I heard last night, I have several observations; in no particular order:

1) Every high school kid is a loser. Period.

2) Apparently high school girls no longer wear skirts; they wear underwear that matches whatever blouse they are wearing. Good for them!

3) It actually made me feel awesome to know that I have had more ass than every guy in that restaurant. Pathetic, I know.

4) To the kid at the end of the table that was on his cell phone for the entire night, stop that. Everyone you know is here. Wrap up your important call and get back to striking out with your date.

5) To the girl at the end of the table that kept looking longingly at the oh-so-important conversation that the popular girls were having for the entire night, let me tell you something that you won't believe. Over time, being an outsider is going to make you depressed. You will likely start dressing in darker clothes, dye your hair, etc. Only years later will you realize that you were the coolest person at that table by far.

6) GQ note to all the men out there: white dress shirts are not cool anymore. Standard attire for a high school dance is now black pants, black shirt and tie. Sport coats are SO 1990's.

7) Please kids, I know your hormones are raging and you all believe that you are in love, but that is no excuse for french kissing at the table.

8) Hitting your glass with a fork for two hours does not make you cool, it makes you annoying.

** Note to my daughter: when you get to High School, please just be yourself.