The News

Some of you might not be aware that the United States is experiencing a bit of an economic crisis. Banks are closing; borrowing has become difficult if not impossible; buying office buildings has therefore become difficult if not impossible. So in an effort to stay current on everything that is going on, I frequently read http://www.cnn.com/ for my news. Here are a random sample of some of today's headlines:

1) http://money.cnn.com/2008/10/06/news/economy/depression_poll/index.htm

- "Poll: 60% say Depression Likely"

No shit. My question is, where are the other 40% of you? I would like to sit down with the 4 out of 10 people that think a Depression is UN-likely. Maybe you guys should try reading a newspaper, or watching the news, or even talking to someone who has been alive over the last six months. News flash: it's pretty likely.


2) http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/Music/10/06/athlete.ice.cube.video.ap/index.html

- "Dead athlete's relatives star in Ice Cube video"

Please don't misunderstand, I am not a fan of death. Death sucks. It sucks for the athlete and it undoubtedly sucks for the athlete's relatives. However, I'm not sure that getting in touch with their inner-gangsta will truly aid in the healing process. Moreover, I'm not sure why this qualifies as news.


3) http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/worklife/10/06/cb.negotiate.at.work/index.html

- "No raise? Negotiate instead for these perks"

These are tough times. I expected to read this article and get some terrific and extremely practical alternatives to financial compensation; I expect nothing less from CNN. However, their suggestions left a little bit to be desired:
- "Companies may be also open to allowing workers who are seeking more time away from the office an option to take unpaid time." WTF?? In what universe is additional unpaid time off of work considered an equal alternative to a salary increase???
- "Many workplaces have casual Fridays, but you may be able to negotiate a more relaxed dress code for every day of the week." Oh thank heavens. I can't afford to buy groceries, but at least now I can wear chinos instead of slacks. That should help me make ends meet.
- "Supplying employees with pedometers, water bottles and other items that support wellness initiatives." Let's pretend for one second that this suggestion doesn't make me want to hurt someone. Let's pretend that a brand new water bottle would in any way make up for the fact that my 401k is worth 60% of what it was six months ago. Even if that were true, these things still cost money! Why not put your brand new pedometer on your wrist, walk yourself over to the store where you bought all these water bottles, return everything, and then give the money to your employees instead. Idiots.

All of this was on CNN's website today. Is it any wonder that the rest of the world doesn't really take us seriously??

** Note to my daughter: please apply some common sense to whatever you read.