McCain vs. Obama (Round 2)

When I saw this picture, I assumed that all of the political attacks of the last week had finally come to an end. Honestly, it looks like Obama is going to slip Johnny the tongue here. But, alas, it was merely a picture advertising the second presidential debate that aired last night (moderated by Tom Brokaw). I can't help but point out the top ten things that really made no sense to me:

1) Does anyone else think that McCain is a bit of a close talker? As McCain started to answer the first question, he kept moving closer and closer to the audience member that asked the question. For a second, I thought he was going to go sit in his lap. It's called personal space, look into it.

2) The third question of the night was asked by audience member Oliver Clark. He asked, "Well, Senators, through this economic crisis, most of the people that I know have had a difficult time. And through this bailout package, I was wondering what it is that's going to actually help those people out." This question is full of things that piss me off. First of all Ollie, you look like you are 20 years old. Most of the people that you know are drunk, stoned, or work at a Blockbuster Video. Second, why don't you try writing a question that doesn't sound like it was written by a coma patient. Finally, why don't you try doing a little research before you go on national television. With your 15 seconds of fame, maybe you could come up with a slightly more compelling question than "umm, could you summarize the bailout for me". I know, I know... information about the bailout is pretty hard to find; it's only in every magazine, newspapaer, website and news show in the world right now.

3) Brokaw: "Senator McCain, in all candor, do you think the economy is going to get worse before it gets better?"
McCain: "I think it depends on what we do."
No kidding? And here I was all this time thinking that the economy was a force of nature that functions entirely independently of "what we do". Go figure.

4) McCain: "Nailing down Sen. Obama's various tax proposals is like nailing Jell-O to the wall". With logic like that, I can't help but think that Senator McCain probably failed the Analogies section of the SAT's. I think he's trying to say that Obama's tax proposals are tough to decipher. In no way does that mean that Jell-O on a wall is hard to decipher. On the other hand, I suppose he might mean that Obama's tax proposals are cube-shaped and sticky and go great with a little vodka, but I really need more information here.

5) Did Obama really vote in favor of a $3 Million overhead projector at the Chicago Planetarium? Nothing solves an economic crisis like a clearer view of Cassiopaea. Can you imagine if FDR had annouced his New Deal (come on people, that was how we climbed out of the Great Depression; brush up on your history once in awhile) by saying something like, "we have to cut spending; tighten Orion's Belt a little bit and make real sacrifices". Astronomy is not exactly a critical issue right now.

6) Did President Bush really say that "the stock market got drunk"? That's something Ross Perot would have said.

7) McCain: "it's not that hard to fix Social Security... Social Security is not that tough. We know what the problems are, my friends, and we know what the fixes are. We've got to sit down together across the table. It's been done before." What a relief, we know what the fixes are! Then why isn't it fixed? Is it me, or might McCain be oversimplifying a tad.

8) I think Brokaw was ready to start beating the shit out of the candidates if they didn't stay within their allotted time limits. Calm down Tom.

9) Obama: "We're spending $10 billion a month in Iraq at a time when the Iraqis have a $79 billion surplus, $79 billion." I'm sorry, but if that is really true... that's fucked.

10) If you were playing a drinking game where you had to take a shot every time McCain said "my friends", there is no way you could have gone into work today.