Screw You Ringo Starr

Apparently former Beatle Ringo Starr is sick and tired of having fans. In a video posted on his website (http://www.ringostarr.com/home.php), Ringo tells all of his fans in no uncertain terms:

"I want to tell you please... do not send fan mail to any address that you have. Nothing will be signed after the 20th of October. If that is the date on the envelope, it's gonna be tossed... I'm warning you with peace and love I have too much to do. So no more fan mail, thank you, thank you, and no objects to be signed. Nothing."

Shockingly, there are a few things about Ringo's statement that make no sense to me:

1) "Do not send fan mail". Call me out of touch, but does Ringo actually have any fans? Obviously The Beatles have tons of fans; I'm pretty sure that Paul McCartney has a lot of fans too. Is anyone really a fan of only Ringo? Honestly, I think that Brainy Smurf has more fans than Ringo does.

2) "I'm warning you with peace and love". To me, this is a lot like saying "no offense, but you're ugly". Peace and love are not used for warning people. Peace and love are typically reserved for thanking people that still give a shit about you even though you haven't done anything of value since before they were born.

3) "I have too much to do". Really? You're too busy to simply receive fan mail? I think the general public fails to grasp how hard it must be to be a has-been. Think about it. You have to wake up every day and be 110% committed to your downhill journey. It's unbearably overwhelming to know that every day you get further and further from the only time in your life that you weren't a complete douche.

On October 19th, maybe I'll send Ringo this picture for him to sign:

(Asshole)