Daddy Day Care

This was the first weekend that my wife went out of town since our daughter was born. No question, I expected to feel something like this:

Shockingly, the weekend went pretty well. There are still a few things that don't make sense to me...

1) It would be pretty cool if the companies that design baby bottles could figure out a way for me to avoid getting breast milk on my hands every time I fill up a bottle. I don't really consider myself to be a squeamish person, but ew.

2) When she goes to sleep at 7:30pm, she wakes up at 4:30am. Clearly, I'm not a mathematician or physicist, but if she goes to sleep later, she should sleep later, right? Wrong. Not sure if all of you know this, but apparently babies are wired so that at precisely two hours before you would otherwise start your day, they magically wake up. No matter what. Early Childhood Development experts call this the Awwshit Reflex.

3) Note to self: do not play spaceship immediately after the baby eats.

4) Every night for the last three months, we give the baby a bath. Every night for the last three months, she cries right before she gets into the bath. Every night for the last three months, she giggles and clearly loves the bath. Every night for the last three months, she cries when she gets out of the bath. Does this make sense to anyone???

5) I'm pretty sure that the new face she makes right before she cries; the one where her eyes get wattery and her lower lip starts to quiver and stick out in a frown... I'm pretty sure THAT look is going to be the single most expensive thing in my entire life.